


Body and Soul

by sippingandshipping



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF, The Host (2013)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Host Aleks, Host James, It's gonna be sweet and sappy, James and Aleks were together as humans, M/M, Smut, Soul Original Characters, Souls fall in love because their host bodies already love each other, Souls start taking on parts of their host's original personalities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sippingandshipping/pseuds/sippingandshipping
Summary: Aleks and James are human rebels who have managed to escape the soul's invasion of Earth thus far. But after their capture, the souls that now occupy their bodies have to come to terms with loving a host they've never met.An unconventional romance that explores love, loss and self-discovery.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, this is going to be my first longer fic. I really wanted to try telling a story rather than just write another one-shot.
> 
> The premise is that James and Aleks get caught as humans, and find each other again as souls. It's gonna be an unconventional romance, but I think it'll be really interesting to see how it'll turn out. I want to explore how these souls come to terms with loving someone they've never met, yet know absolutely everything about.
> 
> This first chapter is acting as a prologue of sorts and sets everything up so I can jump right into the fic from this point onwards.
> 
> This fic will be long and multi-chaptered. If you like what you see so far, and think you'll want to read more, please subscribe to and bookmark this fic so you won't miss out when I update the story :)

Fear. Desperation. Anger. So intense that it feels like I’m drowning. The sounds, the colour, the emotions. Every sense is heightened, and the memories are so sharp and vivid. Though I had been warned, none of my past lives could have prepared me for this.

 

* * *

 

**_The darkness is like a blanket, so heavy and cloying. I’ve never liked it much, and yet, right now it is our only protection. The cold night air surrounds me, seeping into my bones. It’s raining again and I can hear the droplets strike the ground, feel the water soak into the fabric of my hoodie. My breath gasps through my gritted teeth again, a cloud forming where the hot and cold air mingle._ **

**_I glance over the hood of the car again. Red and blue flashes illuminate the area, and I see silhouettes cast on the surrounding walls, looming closer with each passing second. The Seekers have found us. I don’t know how, but they have. One of those parasites must have spotted us when we were scavenging._ **

**_As I look across at James, I feel the icy claws of despair grip onto me. My body feels sluggish, like my limbs are frozen in place. I can’t lose him. He’s all I have left._ **

**_Brett, Trevor, Joe, Asher, Anna, Jakob and Lindsey. We’d all been able to escape the initial wave of the invasion, hiding out and not drawing attention to ourselves. I relive the memory of returning from a supply raid with James, only to find our previous safe house empty. We already knew the bodies that would undoubtedly return wouldn’t be our friends, so the only option left had been to flee._ **

**_I reach out to grip James’ hand, and his eyes meet mine in the gloom. I can see all my emotions reflected in his. Pain, horror, determination._ **

**_“Please, come out. We don’t want to hurt you”, a soft voice rang out, so full of innocence and concern. The concern wasn’t for us, but for our bodies. After all, these souls hated to waste a perfectly good host._ **

**_I burned with such a fierce hatred for them. For all of them. They’ve taken everything from us, our lives, our freedom, our entire world. There’s no way they’re taking me alive. I’d die before letting some leech steal my body._ **

**_Leaning across to take James’ face in my hands, I surge forwards and kiss him. It’s rough and quick. Desperately trying to tell him without words how much I love him, and how much he means to me. When we break apart, his eyes are swimming with tears and I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest._ **

**_“We have to run. It’s the only way”, I whispered, “We’re going to have to split up if we have any chance of losing them. Once you escape, meet me back at the safe house”_ **

**_“I love you so much”, he choked, shuddering as another soft sound emanated from across the cement courtyard, “Please God, please come back to me”_ **

**_“Always”_ **

**_I took his hand and we sprinted down the back alley, dodging garbage bins and other junk strewn in our path. The concrete floor was uneven and littered with potholes, the falling rain causing puddles to form. As we splashed our way to the other end, I was surprised that we had been able to keep our footing._ **

**_The Seekers were slower. They hadn’t been prepared for us to run, and they weren’t nearly as familiar with traversing the back streets of Los Angeles as we were. Despite that fact, I could still hear their footsteps as they ricocheted off the alley walls._ **

**_I took one last look at James, memorising every single inch of him. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes, so heartbroken yet utterly resolute. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. As our fingers slipped from each other’s grasp, I felt like my world was being torn apart, but I couldn’t allow the grief to overwhelm me._ **

**_We darted off in opposite directions and I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him disappear behind an abandoned warehouse. I just kept running, I simply had to. I vaulted over barriers and slipped between buildings. At times, I felt like I had gotten away, but then I’d hear them running behind me, or see the red and blue lights staining the night sky._ **

**_As I tore down another back street, the night-time was eerily quiet and there were no signs of the Seekers. I almost let myself dare to hope that I had escaped them, but just as I neared the street, two cars screeched to a halt at the entrance. They were fast and sleek, definitely some sort of sports car, covered in a metallic chrome coating that was so reflective I could clearly see myself mirrored in the surfaces. I looked dirty and ragged, my hair dishevelled and stuck to my face with rain and sweat. But my dark eyes didn’t glow, and that’s all that mattered to me. It meant I was still human._ **

**_Red and blue light flooded the alleyway and the car headlights were bright as they pierced the shadowy lane. The doors opened and four Seekers stepped from the vehicles, two men and two women. Their eyes glowed silver as the ambient glare of the lights shone through them._ **

**_“Please. Don’t hurt yourself. You have nothing to be afraid of”, one of them pleaded, as they all started advancing on me slowly._ **

**_“Like hell I don’t!”, I spat, turning and racing back down the passage._ **

**_I can hear their footsteps echoing behind me, but I’m faster than any of them. None of that matters, though. As I come to the end of the alley, I find nothing but a brick wall. There’s no escaping this time._ **

**_As I spin to face the four aliens, anger surges through me, like a flash of searing hot energy. I feel my limbs alight with fire as the adrenalin courses through my veins. How dare they. How dare they try and take me away from James. From the one perfect thing in my entire fucked-up world. I suddenly knew that I would kill all of them for even attempting to._ **

**_They finally had me cornered, trying desperately to get me to surrender peacefully. They all had guns but I knew from experience that they hated using them. These peace loving parasites always tried to find other ways to resolve issues._ **

**_One of them stepped forward, a gentle smile on its face. “Be careful. We don’t want you to be hurt”_ **

**_“Get the hell away from me you worm!”, I snarled viciously, crouching low as I drew my hunting knife from the belt on my hip. My eyes flashed between the four of them, they were so busy trying to calm me down that they weren’t focused on protecting themselves._ **

**_The one closest to me was occupying a female body, and wasn’t prepared in the slightest. I lunged forward, the knife connecting with its chest. It let out a satisfying shriek of pain and I was able to snatch the pistol from its holster before the body collapsed. Luckily, the gun was equipped with a silencer, these Seekers didn’t usually like to cause a scene, it would ruin the perfectly built peace they strove to protect. They were all gaping with horror at the crumpled heap on the ground, and I used the opportunity to whirl around and shoot another in the heart before it even knew what was happening._ **

**_The other two were just starting to react as I stalked forward. They had been trained for this, but at the end of the day, peace was their main philosophy and they weren’t accustomed to violence. These were human bodies, but the glow of their eyes proved to me that they were still the enemy. The male cowered back against the alley wall, a haunted cry escaping its lips, while the female fumbled for its gun. I decided to deal with the more dangerous option first, and didn’t hesitate as I raised the barrel and shot it in the head._ **

**_As I prepared to turn and handle the final leech, I heard a spraying sound, and a cloud of mist appeared in front of my face. Shocked, I breathed it in and tasted the unmistakable flavour of cherry. I twisted to see the only remaining Seeker with a small chrome aerosol can aimed directly at me, the word SLEEP engraved in the surface._ **

**_I try to do something, anything, but my limbs feel heavy and my senses are starting to fade. I can’t move my legs to run and I can’t lift my arms to shoot. As I collapse on the ground, my last thought is of James and how I’ve let him down._ **

**_I feel a sharp stab of agony when I realise he’s never going to see me again. He’s going to be alone in a world full of enemies, and I’ll never be there for him again. My mind is quickly overpowered by the sedative and I can’t stop the tears that stream down my face as I close my eyes for the last time, the shadows rising up to meet me._**

 

* * *

 

I gasp, overwhelmed by the memory, and bolt upright on the table. My eyes snap open and I hiss as the harsh medical light invades my eyes, immediately squeezing my eyelids shut against the sudden onslaught of sensory information.

I slowly try opening them again, squinting this time, allowing my eyes to adjust themselves as I gaze around the room. It doesn’t take me long to deduce I’m in a Healing Facility. I’ve never seen one before, but this body recognises the layout. The word hospital comes to mind.

Medical equipment surrounds the room, and I spot a cabinet filled with soul medicine. Sleep, Awake, Heal, Clean (Inside), Clean (Outside), Cool, Smooth, all of them simpler yet more effective than any medicine the humans possessed before our settlement. This world has never been healthier, and free healthcare is now available to all, as it should be.

I glance down to notice the hands in front of me. I watch as they move, turning over so I can observe the palms and the backs. The fingers move, clenching and unclenching, and I notice a silver band on the middle finger of the left hand. I see the feet stretch and stir, toes wiggling. The fingers slowly rise up to the host’s face, tracing the features, feeling the familiar planes before lightly ghosting over the jawline and down the neck. There, I feel a small raised scar, something that feels alien to the host body but puts everything into perspective for me.

In a flash of realisation, I finally understand that the hands are mine. This body is mine. This human had been caught and I have been implanted in his body. I blink rapidly as the comprehension sinks in, conducting a mental check to ensure that all the proper connections have been made between soul and host.

I quickly scan backwards through his memories, from his early life in Russia to his much longer time in America. I see his friends and family. The people he had met, the person he had been. His work as a Youtuber with his friends. Staying up late and playing games, recording their exploits and sharing them with their fans online. I had never seen anything like it on all the other worlds I had visited, a global social network based around online interaction rather than physical.

And then there was James. The one he had laughed with, cried with. The single most important person in his world. A wave of love and sorrow crashes down upon me so strong that all of the air in my lungs is expelled in something that can only be described as a broken sob.

I still wasn’t used to the intensity of my emotions or the sensory overload of my new body. None of the other creatures we had inhabited were quite so complex as these humans.

At my sign of distress, someone who I hadn’t initially realised was here made a small noise to announce their presence. I glance to my right to see a Healer, undoubtedly the one who had inserted me into this host. She is short and attractive, in a simple sort of way. Her eyes are a soft green, with just the slightest hint of a silver ring surrounding the pupil. For a small second, my body tensed with fear as it took in the sight of the woman in front of me, before realising that I had no reason to be afraid of her. I am a soul and so is she, though these eyes were so used to seeing her as the enemy.

She offers me a kind smile, and I see the light reach her eyes. It is genuine, as with everything we souls do. Trust and compassion are endemic to all. “Welcome to Earth,” she spoke softly, trying not to startle me. “I’m sure this is all a lot to take in.”

“I… Yes,” I admitted, “I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with senses this strong before”, my voice sounded the same as it always had, perhaps with only a small change in the tone and inflection of my words.

“You’ll quickly get the hang of it”, she mused, as if reminiscing her own awakening on this planet.

I nodded silently, taking another cursory glance around the room before meeting her eyes again.

“What would you like to be called? You can choose any name you want. Some decide to keep the name of their host, or perhaps you want a name from one of your former lives?”, she was smiling again, and I had a feeling she enjoyed learning about the worlds other souls had experienced.

**_Aleks._** ** _Aleksandr Vitalyevich Marchant_** _._ I can feel the name burn its way across my consciousness. It was his name. My host body’s name. But I’m here now. This is my body now.

He had lived his entire life as Aleks. It had become woven into the very fabric of his being. But could I keep the name of the human who had only just killed three innocent souls? Even contemplating the possibility had my stomach tying itself in knots.

Instead, I thought back to my past hosts. My last life had been on Singing World. I had loved my time there. Though living without sight and smell had been difficult, echolocation had allowed us to travel quite easily. I adored the feeling of the wind in my wings as I would soar high above the ground, and the melodious songs of the Bats had been a heavenly gift to listen to each day. Before that, I had lived as a Bear on the Mists Planet. I don’t think I could even find the words to describe how beautiful our cities and sculptures made of ice had been. The way the light had danced through them like rainbows. Nothing in the human language could come close to doing them justice. My first life had been as a Spider. Though I had appreciated the tremendous intelligence that was native to the species, their homeworld was cold and grey, and I had yearned to experience emotion and colour.

After some deliberation, I decided to keep the name from my most recent life as a Bat, at least until I had some more time to organise and evaluate my thoughts. It took me a moment to determine how that name would best be translated into this language.

“Call me… Star Singer”


	2. Adjustment

The mid-afternoon sunlight beams down on me, warming my core until I can feel it radiating throughout my entire body. I sigh contentedly, feeling my muscles relax as I practically melt into the lush grassy slope.

Opening my eyes, I watch as the fluffy clouds lazily float across the startlingly blue atmosphere. Even on the Mists Planet, where the sun would make the ice and snow sparkle, the sky had never been a shade this intense. The clouds of fog and pollution that had become an accepted part of city life were now gone, our emphasis on sustainable practices had quickly seen to that.

Griffith Park has already become my favourite place in Los Angeles. I can think of no better location in LA that allows you to appreciate the beauty of this world. Various trees are scattered around the area, and they provide adequate shade, without blocking the beautiful sunlight.

In the furthest corner of my vision, I can see the domed roof of the Griffith Observatory. It stands solitary with a wonderful view of the city.

I allow myself to doze off, and when I come to, the sun is falling lower in the sky. I take a seat by the Observatory, watching as day makes way to night. I’m still not used to the nightlife here. On other worlds, you would rest with the moon and rise with the sun. But here, the darkness is pierced by the excitement of bright lights and social interaction.

Sitting here, with the cool breeze tickling my skin, I watch as the stars in the sky are joined by the brilliant points of light of the cityscape.

 

* * *

 

I lock the door behind me as I enter my apartment, even though I know there’s no reason to. There is no crime or thievery anymore. Not now that Souls have inhabited this world. But my body is so used to protecting itself from others that it is hard to stop now. 

I flick the lights on, moving through the main living area to admire the view from the massive floor-to-ceiling windows. This location truly is beautiful. I’m situated on one of the higher levels of the building, so the view of the city is unobstructed, and noise from the street hardly ever reaches me.

The apartment itself is stunning. The kitchen is spacious, with new appliances and an island equipped with bar stools. A large lounge sits in the living area, the perfect place to watch the immense TV mounted on the wall. The bedroom is fairly simple, but has ample room to fit a king size bed and nightstands.

An opulent apartment in such a perfect location would have cost millions before we came here. But concepts such as currency no longer apply in our society. Resources are shared by all, and anything a Soul might want or need is given freely. I was very lucky to have been offered this abode.

My day out has tired me, and I quickly warm up some leftovers from the fridge, not bothered to try and cook something. After I finish my meal, I wander through to the bathroom. There’s an excellent shower here, with a wide head that allows for a wonderfully steamy wash, and I’ve already fallen in love with it.

I look at myself in the vast mirror, comparing my body to my memories of Aleks. He’d had his hair dyed blonde just before the invasion, but during the months on the run the colour had faded back to its normal brown. My hair is longer and messier now, it hasn’t been cut in ages, and it’s almost starting to look like it did when Aleks first joined the Creatures.

My body looks and feels stronger too. Aleks had always been fit enough, before our arrival, but he’d never been too bothered with spending all his time at the gym. After their escape, though, he and James had needed to go into hiding, and travelling by foot was the easiest way to discourage unwanted attention. I can feel the power in my muscles and I know that if I wanted to achieve any sort of physical challenge right now, I could trust my body to help me do so.

My eyes are a deep chocolate colour, just like they always were. But as I look closer, I notice the subtle silver lining that surrounds my pupils. Curious, I adjust the overhead light so that it’s shining directly into my eyes. They react to the light, the silver rings glowing brighter and more defined, and I can see the reflections as they illuminate the bathroom walls.

I brush my teeth as I reflect on my new body. Finishing, I collapse on my bed, finally realising just how tired I am. It’s both mentally and physically exhausting to acclimate to these hosts. As soon as I’m covered in the sheets, the lethargy pulls me under.

 

* * *

 

**_“That’s utter bullshit! You were cheating, you motherfucker!”, I try to remain gruff but can’t help dissolving into laughter. I can never stay angry when I look into James’ eyes_ **

**_“You’re just jealous cause I keep winning!”, he chuckles as he leans over to stop the recording and turn off the cameras._ **

**_It’s getting late. Everyone else had already gone home, but James and I wanted to record some more gameplay for the channel._ **

**_“Asshole…”, I playfully go to smack his leg, and he grins._ **

**_After a second, my common sense tells me that I should take my hand away, but I find myself ignoring it. I suddenly realise that I don’t want to stop at all. In fact, I want to get closer._ **

**_My fingers start to move of their own accord, lightly tracing small circles, feeling his thigh through his jeans. I hear his sharp intake of breath, and my eyes dart up to meet his._ **

**_His eyes are wide and his pupils dilated. He looks at me with equal parts surprise and arousal. He’s slack jawed, and I can’t help but stare at his beautiful lips, wondering what it would feel like if they brushed against mine._ **

**_My hand trails up his leg and ghosts over his inner thigh, as I slowly lean towards him. We’re so close now, merely a whisper apart. Our noses are almost touching and my eyes are locked on his. I can taste his breath as it mingles with my own._ **

**_But I freeze. I can’t do this. This is James, he’s my best friend. Surely this is a mistake. He can’t possibly feel the way same way I do._ **

**_The seconds tick by and they feel like years. Just as I’m convincing myself that I’ve been stupid and irrational, and that this is all in my head, he seems to make up his mind._ **

**_James surges forward, closing the gap. The kiss is heavy and desperate, almost verging on frantic. It’s like we’ve been holding back for so long that the dam has finally burst and we’re being swept along in the torrent._ **

**_I honestly don’t know how it happens, but all of a sudden I’m straddling him on the couch. My hands move up his chest before undoing his bun. God, how I’ve dreamed of raking my fingers through his hair like this. He gives a small groan when I gently pull his hair._ **

**_Our lips meet again and I’m struck by how perfectly they fit together. Our tongues intertwine, as if engaging in a sensual dance. It’s just James and I, forever bound in this moment. I feel as his arms wind around me, one hand on the small of my back and the other trailing lower._ **

**_I never want to stop kissing him, but pretty soon I can feel the lack of oxygen taking its toll. My head feels light and I force myself to pull away. I don’t particularly feel like passing out right now. I look into his eyes as I gasp for breath, noticing his pupils blown wide and the tantalisingly pink blush on his cheeks._ **

**_“I can’t believe we’re doing this”, I gasped, my hands caressing his face while my fingers trace his jawline, feeling the familiar scruff._ **

**_“I dunno… It’s not really that unexpected, is it?”, he muses, leaning into my touch._ **

**_He’s right, we’ve been skating around this for months, years even. The lingering glances, the small touches that lasted longer than necessary. It’s like we had always known this was bound to happen, but we had tried to delay the inevitable anyway._ **

**_“I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never done this before”, I confessed, and I suddenly can’t meet his eyes anymore._ **

**_“Neither have I. But we’ll do fine”, he lifts my chin and I can read the sincerity in his eyes. They’re so gorgeous, like a river of warm melted chocolate. “Just… go with the flow. Do whatever feels right to you”_ **

**_I sit still for a moment, considering my options. What do I want? The answer comes to me instantly. I want him, all of him._ **

**_Without really planning to, my hips start moving, grinding down on him. I can feel as the bulge in his pants grows larger, and his fingers dig into my back, holding me to him. The rhythm starts out slow, but quickly gets faster. The feeling of his hardness pressing against my own is heavenly, and I try to get as much friction as I possibly can._ **

**_“Fuck, Aleks”, a low breathy moan escapes James’ lips, and his eyes close._ **

**_I lean forward to press my lips to the pulse point on his neck. I can feel his heartbeat racing, hammering under the soft layer of skin. My tongue darts out, and I can taste his sweat and arousal. My teeth graze over his most sensitive spot, and I gently bite down. Not enough to hurt him, but enough that there will be a mark there tomorrow. I want everyone to know that he’s mine now. I hear his quiet whine, and his erection starts to meet mine with a renewed vigour._ **

**_“Please James, I need you right now”, I whimper, and when his eyes meet mine, I can tell he wants this just as much as I do._ **

**_“Hold on, we don’t have any…”, but suddenly his eyes light with realisation and he reaches behind us to search the shelf for something. His hand comes back with a small bottle of Bad Dragon lube, and I tilt my head at him quizzically._ **

**_“It came in the box when we got sent those dragon dildos”, he chuckles “I had nowhere else to put it so I just thought it’d be best to keep it up there with the dildos”_ **

**_As he pops the cap and squirts some lube on his hand, I quickly remove my clothes and start unbuckling his belt. James pulls me close and I relish in the feeling of his body pressed against mine._ **

**_“I’ve never done this before, but I really think we should get you ready first”, he looks nervous, like he’s terrified that he’ll hurt me. He’s searching my eyes, looking for any hint of regret or uncertainty. He finds none._ **

**_His hand reaches behind me and I can feel his lubed fingers as they glide along my perineum. I whine needily as he massages that secret space, and I feel it go straight to my cock, hard and dripping with want._ **

**_His finger circles my hole before slowly pressing just the tip inside. I hiss with pain and my muscles clamp down, burying my face in his neck as tears spring to my eyes. All the air in my lungs leaves me in a gasp, though it sounds more like a shaky sob._ **

**_I hear him whisper in my ear as his other hand rubs my back tenderly. “Hey now… Shhh… We’re gonna take this slow ok? You’re gonna have to try and relax for me. I promise I’ll be right here, baby”_ **

**_I listen to his words to calm myself, and I feel my muscles slowly relax as they adjust to the intrusion._ **

**_“Good. Very good, Aleksandr. That’s it. Just like that. That’s my boy”, I can hear his smile._ **

**_He pushes his finger further in, and though I wince, the pain is already starting to fade. The feeling of him inside me is so hot, and I gasp as another finger joins the first. After what feels like years, he has three fingers buried inside me and I can’t wait any longer._ **

**_“P-please… I need to feel you inside me, James!”, I pleaded, reaching down to pull his pants off and throwing them on the floor._ **

**_I grab some lube and start stroking his cock. He’s so hard for me. As I watch, some pre-cum leaks from the tip, and I use my hand to mix it with the lube. His breathing races and his pupils are so large that there’s only a thin sliver of brown left surrounding them._ **

**_“Uh fuck… I want you!”, James growls, and he looks so wild that my cock throbs._ **

**_Shuffling forward on my knees, I position him at my entrance and slowly sink onto his cock. It’s painful at first, but my body quickly adapts, his fingers having already prepared me. I take him all the way, and I hear his lustful groan._ **

**_“Fuck Aleksandr… You’re so fucking tight… Jesus Christ, I love it”, James husks, his hands spread on my ass and his nails leaving marks._ **

**_With my hands on his chest to steady myself, I start riding him. Raising myself up, then dropping down again, keeping a heavy rhythm. I tremble as I feel his thick length fill me again and again. I can tell that he’s quickly losing all control, he’s panting and he’s started thrusting up to meet me._ **

**_As he changes his trajectory, his cock pounds deeper into me and I frantically keen as I feel a sudden wave of intense pleasure rip through my body like wildfire. It would seem that he’s found my prostate._ **

**_“Shit, shit, fuck… oh my God… fucking please… Right there James… Right there… Oh Fuck… For the love of God, please don’t stop”, I cry out, a ragged moan spilling from my lips._ **

**_“Fuck Aleks, I’m gonna… I’m gonna c… Where do want it?”, his voice is low and rough._ **

**_“Inside me… P-please…”, I choked out. My cock is already dripping with pre-cum, and he reaches down to stroke me in time with our thrusts._ **

**_We go over the edge together, moaning each other’s names. I feel as he thrusts up one last time, stuffing me full of his cock before shooting his load deep inside me. I clench and pulse around him as I come, covering us both in my release. I gasp, still overwhelmed by the ecstasy, shivering at the feeling of his hot mess deep within me._ **

**_We both come down from our shared climax, breathless and glistening with sweat. My eyes drift over his body, taking in every inch. The way his dark eyes always look bright, his curly hair that looks wild and unruly as it frames his face in a chaotic halo, the strength of his arms as they wrap around my body. As I straddle James, closer to him now than I’ve ever been before, a flash of realisation suddenly hits me._ **

**_“I love you… So much...”_ **

**_His shocked eyes snap to mine and his mouth hangs open in disbelief. It takes me a second to comprehend what just happened. Fuck. Please don’t tell me I just said that out loud. Oh my God. I’ve just ruined everything. My cheeks are stained red with guilt and the tears already start to flow as I look down, too ashamed to even regard him._ **

**_Before I have a chance to try and run away, James’ hands grasp my face and he pulls me to him, our lips connecting once again. It’s as if they were moulded to perfectly fit one another. The kiss is soft and luscious, and I feel as though I can taste the very essence of his being this way.  
_ **

**_He pulls back, my face still in his hands, and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears in my eyes._ **

**_“I love you too”, he breathes, and it feels like the final puzzle piece clicks into place._ **

**_My laughter is resonant as relief washes through me. I dive forward again, peppering kisses over every part of him I have access to. Across his chest, up his arms, on his hands, his cheeks, his forehead, and finally on his nose. He giggles like a child, and his arms pull me in again. Locked in his warm embrace, I could swear that I’ve never felt more loved in my entire life._**

 

* * *

 

I wake suddenly, my heart racing as my eyes wildly dart around the room, trying to make sense of my dark surroundings.

My cock is aching with neglect as the remnants of the dream fade away, my body crying out for the man I love more than life itself.

My arms automatically reach out, searching the sheets for James, knowing that he’ll make it all better. They find nothing but the cold expanse of the mattress.

It all hits me at once. James isn’t here. He never was here. I’ll never see him again.

Collapsing back into the pillows, I feel the grief and loneliness wash over me. Burying my face in the downy cushion, I weep for what feels like hours.

 

* * *

 

I can’t sleep for the rest of the night and I see through my windows when the sky first starts to brighten. I force myself to get out of bed when the first rays of sunlight start spilling into the room, even though I feel like nothing could possibly be worth getting up for.

I can’t live like this. I can’t try to make it through each day while the heartache slowly tears me apart. I’m not capable of handling these emotions, so powerful and raw.

As I sit alone, looking out on a city just starting to awaken, I am once again struck by the beauty of this world. I can’t give up. Earth is what I’ve always dreamed of, and humans are perfectly equipped to experience all that this planet has to offer. Colour, sound, taste, touch, emotion. They’re all worth fighting for.

With a newfound resolve, I push down the darkness and head over to my computer. The machine wakes from its slumber, screen flickering to life. I navigate to my email program and quickly type up a short message. As I hit send, I feel the tightness in my chest relax a bit.

 

**I would like to request an appointment with a Comforter. As soon as possible.**

 

**Kind Regards,**

**Star Singer**


	3. Comforted

“Welcome, Star Singer”, my new Comforter greets me at the door and ushers me inside her opulent apartment, offering me a place on one of the armchairs in the centre of the open-plan living area. The material is plush and luxurious, and I sink into the soft cushions, feeling myself relax a bit at the cosy atmosphere. 

I allow myself a quick glance around the flat, taking in the beautiful windows that allow plenty of sunlight to bathe the room in brightness. The view of the city from here is truly breathtaking, and I can just see the Hollywood Sign in the distance, nestled into the hills. A pleasant aroma fills the air, a subtle hint of vanilla, and I surmise that there’s probably a scented candle burning somewhere around here.

My Comforter sits in an identical armchair just opposite me, crossing her legs as she gets comfortable. Her hair is long and glossy, flowing in golden waves over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes are a gorgeous blue, so icy in colour that I can’t even detect the silver lining around her pupils. Her cheeks are covered with a small smattering of freckles, which seems to add to her personality, rather than detract from her beauty. Her host is fairly young, probably no older than 25 or so, and in perfect physical health. She kindly smiles across at me, and I detect a slightly mischievous glint in her eyes.

Her clothes are stylish, yet casual. She’s wearing a long camel cardigan over a white top. A pair of black skinny jeans cover the toned expanse of her legs, and a pair of white heels perfectly accent the top.

“Well then, shall we get started?”, she extends her hand towards me and I shake it, a small smile playing on my lips. “You can call me Claire”

“It’s nice to meet you, Claire”

“Now then, I noticed that you requested a Comforter as soon as possible, I’m sure that means you have some particular reason why you would like to see me today. Please feel free to ask anything of me and I will do my best to help. It’s what I’m here for”, she smiles encouragingly at me again, and I notice that her teeth are white and straight.

“I… I just…”, I sigh, looking down at my lap and fidgeting with my hands. It’s very hard to talk to someone else about how I’m feeling right now, but I know it’s the only way I’ll ever be able to work through these emotions.

“I’m finding it hard to adjust to this life. To this host”, I admit, and I see her nod sagely, leaning forward and giving me her complete attention.

“In what ways?”

“I feel like so much of Aleks has remained with me. I feel what he felt, I think what he thought. Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing at all separating me from him!”

“That is all to be expected when we take humans on as hosts. They’re so vastly different from the other species we have conquered. It’s only natural that you should think and feel the way your host body always has. Some souls just have a harder time than others, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

She blinked rapidly, as if suddenly remembering some important detail she had forgotten. “That is, of course, as long as you’re not experiencing any resistance? Aleks’ mind doesn’t linger in any way?”

“No. Not at all”, I reply, looking up at her in shock, “C-can that happen?”

She looks back at me thoughtfully. “Occasionally. We have found that it’s more prevalent in hosts that were aware of us before being captured, though even then the chance is quite low.” 

She seems to notice the look of panic on my face, and reaches out to soothingly pat my hand. “There’s no need to worry, Star Singer. You are completely in control of your body. If there was a problem, we would know about it by now. Although, it may explain why you are having more trouble dealing with Aleks’ emotions and memories.” 

She seems to have a sudden idea, her head slightly tilting to the side “In my personal experience, talking through your feelings with someone else is usually the best way to come to terms with them. Tell me, what are you having the most trouble with at the moment?”

I look away, doing everything in my power to avoid her gaze. I can already feel my eyes welling up.

“James…”, I choke out, and the word sounds small and pained.

I hear her sigh, and when I look up, her eyes look troubled as they stare back at mine. “Grief. I should have guessed. It’s one of the most powerful emotions we have to cope with here. I too lived a life term as a Bat. I lost one of my very dear friends there, and I didn’t think it was possible to feel anything worse than the pain of not singing for days and weeks on end. When I came here though, I quickly learned that it pales in comparison to human sorrow.”

“I just miss him so much. Everything about him. I’ve never even met him and I still remember how it felt when he kissed me, when he touched me. I can hardly sleep, and when I do, I always dream about him. And now he could be out there all alone. He could be dead! And there’s no way I’ll ever know…”, my breath hitches and the tears are flowing freely now.

She moves to sit beside me, bringing with her a box of tissues. As she places the box next to me, I feel her hand gently rubbing my shoulder. It’s a comforting gesture, I haven’t really had much physical interaction with other souls since I arrived here.

“I wish I could tell you that there’s an easy way to numb the pain, but the truth is that only time will heal these wounds. And unfortunately the scars will always remain”. As I dry my eyes, I can see that hers are looking somewhat glassy, concern colouring her expression. She doesn’t seem to like seeing me suffer.

The silence seems to stretch on for minutes, and there’s almost something soothing about it. When a new thought occurs to me, I look across at her.

“Claire?” 

“Yes, dear?”

“Why did you choose to keep your host’s name?”

She gives me a small smile. “I faced much the same problem as you when I came to this world. I found that my connection with my host was quite strong. Though I remained my own individual, I couldn’t deny that I was subconsciously starting to act and think the way Claire did back when she was human. I was occupying her body, so all of her old habits and interests just sort of stuck with me. Soon enough, I just stopped distinguishing between Claire and myself. We became one in the same. It just seemed fitting to keep the name I had been referred to my entire life.”

As I meet her eyes again, her gaze is questioning. “What about you? You seem to have such a powerful connection with Aleks. Is there any reason why you chose not to retain his name?”

“I was scared. Of his emotions, of him in general. He killed three innocent souls, the night he was captured. Three souls who had never hurt anyone, who hadn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t even hesitate. He was filled with so much hatred and anger.”

“Any loss of life is dreadful, but at least those souls gave their lives to protect us all. You need to think of this from Aleks’ perspective, though. We had invaded his world. Taken away all hope for his future. He just wanted to protect James. To escape so he could be with him once again. Even now, is there anything you wouldn’t do to save him?”

As I reflect upon her question, I swiftly receive my answer. Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do to hold James in my arms again for even a second.

I sigh in resignation and she sends me a sombre smile. “That’s what I thought. I think you’re trying to deny how much Aleks is a part of you now. I also honestly think taking his name will help you to start making peace with your host.”

I look to her once again, and see nothing but sincerity in her eyes. Finally, having made my decision, I send her a small nod and she beams across at me.

“The best way to deal with heartbreak is to find as many distractions as you possibly can. Try different hobbies. Meet new people. Explore this world. You have to do whatever you can to divert your attention to more productive things.”, she advised, “Have you given any thought to a Calling that would suit you?”

“Not yet… But I promise that I’ll try. I’ll try to work through it. It’s the only way I’ll survive this.”

“I know you will, dear”, she gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “And I expect you to keep coming to see me. Look at all the things we’ve already worked through today. I think you would greatly benefit from having someone to talk to.”

“I will, thank you.”

As we both stand, she offers me her hand for the second time today and I shake it. I’m already starting to feel more in control than I have since I took on this body.

“Well then, Aleks. Welcome back!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be long and multi-chaptered. If you like what you see so far, and think you'll want to read more, please subscribe to and bookmark this fic so you won't miss out when I update the story :)
> 
> Come and say hi on [Tumblr!](https://loveyboyslovin.tumblr.com) I'll be doing asks, prompts and requests through this account! :D


End file.
